Assembly Required
by HelenVanPattersonPatton
Summary: It's a shame we never got to see that shotgun-shaped tequila bottle. An AU take on S1 episode Bunk Beds. Addition to The First Time collection on AO3.


After a point, the shotgun-shaped bottle made its way to the bunk beds with them, the tiny shot glasses and walking back to the kitchen seeming inefficient. They may be over doing it, here. The tequila on an empty stomach seeming less potent and also less like a good idea with every passing minute the alcohol absorbs into her blood.

Neither of them expressly had any intention of getting drunk. Or at least Mindy doesn't think Danny had that intention. It's just that after he realized he'd missed the last of his appointments (Betsy and Shauna were suspiciously nice about calling to tell him they'd rescheduled everybody) and she had received the text from Gwen saying that Riley wasn't feeling well and that she wouldn't be coming until in the morning, if at all, things went a little . . sideways.

That's how she finds herself slightly drunk and playing on what is really a preposterous thing to have in her living room like it's a jungle gym.

"You did a really good job building this, you know that?" Mindy swings out from where her arm is crooked around the square white post.

Danny, sitting on the bottom bunk, snags the bottle from her loose fingers like he's afraid she's about to drop it. "Thanks. I can show you how to do some of this stuff. It's smart to be handy around the house."

"That would be amazing, Danny. I could save a ton of money not having to pay my super under the table every time I need to change my A/C filter."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. It's not much. Like fifty bucks or something. And that includes the filter."

"An air filter costs like five dollars." He's shaking his head. "No, okay. We're going to take a day and I'm going to show you what you need to know to do all of this yourself."

"You'd do that for me?"

"Sure. And I'll only charge you two hundred for the day." He smirks at her and Mindy swings around to push on his shoulder, Danny falling back theatrically with an umph.

He's quiet and doesn't sit back up. It piques Mindy's curiosity and she ducks her head under the top bunk, leaning in to find him absently punching the underside of the mattress over his head. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing. Just thinking about what I'd be like to have something like this as a kid. You could play, make it like a tree-house. Keep your books and secret things up top. Then have this down here to sleep. If it wasn't pink, ya know, if it was for a boy, I could imagine pretending being in a bunk on a ship at sea."

"Huh." She moves and tests her footing on the bottom rung of the ladder before taking a cautious step up, then another.

"What?"

She's glad he can't see the smile on her face when she slides a knee across the soft pink surface of the top mattress, lying down. "You're way drunker than I realized."

"Shut up. I am not. At least no drunker than you." The bed creaks as he sits up, she can feel it shifting below her as the distribution of weight changes. "You didn't pretend when you were a kid?"

"Yeah, I did. I guess everyone does. I would pretend I was a princess."

"And a handsome prince would kiss you and sweep you off your feet?" Danny's head pops up eye level with where she's sprawled out.

"No, actually. Predictable much? I would pretend I was a princess and the prince would try and save me from all of these situations - ones that he really was kind of responsible for honestly - but I'd save myself. Then I'd become queen. And as queen I could have any of the hot peasant guys I wanted."

"That sounds more like you. What was I thinking?"

"Wouldn't you want your daughter to be raised like that, Danny? My parents were all about self-sufficiency."

"Says the woman who pays a man to come change the battery in her smoke alarm."

"Nobody's perfect." She attempts a shrug which is hard to do lying on her side.

"No, that's true." Danny's climbing the ladder and she wonders if he's actually planning on getting up here with her. "You're folks did okay I guess."

"Thanks?"

Danny eases down next to her, one arm folded under his head and an easy smile on his mouth. "You're welcome."

She scoots over as much as she can, but there's still not really enough space for two adults, even small ones. Thank God there are rails or else she'd fall overboard, she knows she would.

There's an oddly comfortable silence beginning to form between them and Mindy doesn't like it, the way they're positioned in such an intimate way in such a bizarre setting making her feel strange. "Thanks for helping me out today, Danny. Even if the kid probably isn't going to be using it. I may have you come over on Monday and help me take this apart."

"Help you?"

"Right. I meant have you take it apart."

"That's what I thought." His eyes are closed and she's never noticed how thick and dark his eyelashes are.

"We should get takeout or something," she says, blinking and looking away.

"Probably. That was a lot of tequila. I should maybe not be this drunk when I leave to go home."

"We could always have a sleepover. I've got the beds for it."

Mindy means it as a genuinely innocent comment. Yet when Danny opens his eyes and looks back at her she realizes her intent is meaningless. His gaze is shrewd and she wonders what he sees. She'd like to know, because she isn't 100% sure what she's feeling right now. Surprisingly enough though the one thing she does know for sure is that she'd like him to kiss her.

Slowly Danny brings his hand from under his head and reaches for her. Mindy's eyes flutter closed, but he isn't reaching out to kiss her. There's a tug on her ears that makes her eyes pop open and it's blurry, her glasses being drawn down her nose.

She swallows and stares blearily at his lips. How has she never fully appreciated what an obscenely sexy mouth he has? Does it always look like that?

The glasses vanish and Mindy momentarily wonders if he put them someplace they won't get broken when he frames her face in his wide palms and pulls her to him.

Danny Castellano is a dirty kisser. Within the time it takes for Mindy to exhale and sink into the nice feeling of those full lips gently moving against hers, he's got her top lip pulled into his mouth, the marriage of his teeth and the way he's sucking ever so slightly sending a shock zipping through her skin.

Then there's a hand becoming firmly planted on her ass, and whoa, Danny Castellano is a very dirty kisser. He pulls her closer to him, his knee coming up between her legs as he does, and Mindy can be dirty too. She trails her fingers along the contours of his chest down to his stomach, stopping to tuck her fingers in at the waistband of his jeans.

Danny grunts softly into her mouth and they're going to have sex. Which should seem like a weirder idea than it is. In practice it feels like a stroke of freaking genius. He's pulling where the front of her shirt is still tucked in and it's exhilarating when his knuckles brush the bare skin of her stomach. Mindy moans and he jerks at the fabric, trying unsuccessfully to pull the buttons apart. That's for the best though; as sexy as that would be she really likes this shirt.

"Here," she mutters against his mouth before leaning away and starting on the buttons.

Danny tries to help, his fingers not nearly as deft on the buttons as they had been on her body. "I can do. ." she motions down her front. "You do you."

With a sharp tug, his T-shirt is over his head and somewhere on her living room floor. Her shirt joins it quickly. He stares at her darkly for a very long moment, his thumb sweeping across her clavicle to her bra strap. Threading a hand into her hair he draws her back to him, this time his body shifting fully over hers, and she wishes they would have just taken the time to already be completely naked.

There's a snapping sound as his lips find her neck and fingers pop open the closure on her jeans that symbolically could be her self-control snapping but realistically is the sound of her eyeglasses being crushed. That's what Mindy thinks anyway until in one swift moment she finds herself crashing to the hardwood floor below, all of the air being knocked out of her by the force of Danny landing with his full weight on top of her.

This is not how she imagined him taking her breath away tonight.

"Oh, God. Mindy? Are you okay?" He pushes up on his elbows enough to look down at her, his body still pressing into hers.

She nods as convincingly as possible and tries to nudge him off her. "Can't. Breath."

"Sorry. I'm sorry," he says somewhat frantically as he shifts away and stands.

There are a few spots dancing before her vision from having the wind knocked out of her, but other than that she feels okay maybe. After a minute Mindy pushes up to a sitting position and is grateful that there is enough booze in her blood right now to dull what will probably be a very unpleasant ache come tomorrow.

Danny's standing watching her and not saying anything, the way his brow is tight making her think he blames himself for the bed collapsing. Like it isn't because there was half again the amount of weight the bed is designed to hold, and, you know, writhing going on.

"Are you okay?" He extends his hands to her and she lets him pull her up.

"We'll see," she says, biting back a smirk. "I think so. You might need to examine me just to be sure."

"Oh yeah? I guess I can do that." He leans in and she steadies herself with both hands on his shoulders as she shifts her weight to meet him.

"OW!" she screams, mouth nearly touching his.

"What? What is it?"

"It's my ankle. I can't put any weight on it." She winces.

"Are you - is this a thing? You want me to carry you? Are you being the patient, I'll be the doctor, or..."

"No, Danny! You pervert. I think my ankle is broken."

"For real?" He pulls back from her looking serious and she hates her ankle right now.

"Yes, for real."

"Okay." He races around picking up strewn items of clothing and her glasses. "We'll uh. . come on. I'll take you to the hospital."

He buttons her shirt for her and it makes her heart thump funnily. "Can I lean on you like a crutch?"

"Yeah. Sure." Danny grabs her cell phone and keys and shoves them into his pocket, a frown pulling cutely at his face. And what the hell has happened today that makes Mindy classify anything to do with his face as cute?

Dipping down slightly he slides his arm around her waist and he's at the right height for her to support herself on his shoulder. "Danny?"

"Yeah? You okay?"

Mindy nods. "You still want to get takeout?"

He pulls away slightly to look down at her, a disbelieving smile on his face. "I do. But maybe after the emergency room."

* * *

**Edit 5/19/14:** _Thanks to the guest reviewer who gently pointed out that it was a shotgun-shaped bottle, not a skull-shaped one. I am deeply ashamed I remembered that incorrectly and didn't do my research. Wish I knew who the kind person was who brought this to my attention so I could thank them directly._


End file.
